There’s a lot of talk about Sacred Sexuality.
And there’s a lot of talk about sacred sexuality from folks looking right for the Sacred in sex but I wonder to what extent they are in relationship with the Sacred otherwise. There’s a lot of bypassing out there, a lot of quest for ascension into the upper realms and into the ecstasy of sex, and I wonder on what foundation. However, I’m not here to point or to speculate. I’m here to invite.
I can work with couples who are experiencing less than ideal sex or connection, and together, we can move their sexual relationship in the direction of sacred sex. And I do not do this with explanations of tantra or enlightenment. I do this with a foundation of connection, attunement of the nervous systems, addressing residual trauma, teaching the couple to stand in one another’s places of trauma & retraction, and a deep look into the shadow.
The shadow and sex? Yes. I’ll come back to this topic.
When we have experienced trauma and hold some form of it in our bodies and nervous systems, it affects connection. Most people know trauma. Whether you had a restrictive father as a teenage girl and did not know your body was your own, or whether you experienced severe physical abuse at the hands of a parent, you know trauma. There are endless examples, different forms, and there’s no need to compare one person’s trauma to another, because the most important thing to understand is that regardless of the exact trauma, trauma patterns trap in the body, causing retraction and fear. Where this applies to sex is that intimacy is the most vulnerable space we can be in. Sex asks for the deepest level of connection. But if we are in trauma patterns, we are unavailable to that level of connection.
So often, SO OFTEN, people are having sex and actually retracting energetically and in their physical bodies due to residual trauma. I am telling you - you can be having active sex and this can be happening. If you struggle with connection during sex, reach out to me. I have a safe way of going into that place of retraction and bringing somatic/energetic/emotional healing. (No, I’m not in your bedroom with you - I don’t have to be. Trust me.) I can also facilitate you and your partner being this safe space for one another. This is the modality that I’m developing with couples. It is fascinating and deeply healing when both are on board.
If you are pulling back energetically, meanwhile engaging in sexual activity, the act is lacking the Sacred and I’ll tell you why. You can not simultaneously live in fear and live in the Sacred. You can not. I understand that this a big statement. Before you get defensive, know I’m saying it in love. I lived there, in residual fear, for many, many years. Most of my life. And I am FAR more connected to the Sacred now than I was when I was living in fear, because parts of me have opened, relaxed, and while my nervous system relaxed, I was certainly able to access more of my authentic relationship with the Sacred. It is a journey I continue still, because it is so worthy.
I don’t care if you are achieving orgasm or breathing in all the tantric circles. If you are in fear, you are lacking connection, with one another and with the Sacred.
You have to safely go to these places, you have to hold space for the shadow between lovers (assuming ongoing and deep intimate lover relationships, because you won’t get there hopping around with various partners, either), and you have to grow together.
This is safety, this is relationship. If you are not growing together, your sex is not sacred either. You are one another’s safe space. If you are not, you can be. I can help.
We don’t get to the Sacred through ascension meditation exercises. We get there by bringing all parts on board. When we safely integrate our shadow, it alchemizes into a powerful force within us. We need THAT very force to alchemize within us for our full sacredness to be present with our lover during sex.
I am happy to be of service to you and your partner through this process. We work safely in the realms of emotional, physical, spiritual, energetic, and mental wellness and we build a deeper connection between you than you have ever experienced. This modality will work to the extent that you are willing to step into this work. Your results are proportionate to your personal process.
Embodied Breath is many things - it can help individuals and couples to move through many various soul-related circumstances - but always, it is a container for soul transformation and an opportunity for you to know your divinity, your soul, your capacity for love. It will transform aspects of your life, because when we greet the shadow with mindful attention, intention, and healing energy - it can’t not transmute.
So beautiful. Reach out if your deep interest is sparked in this post. I work with soul-aligned clients willing and eager to do their own deep work.