I found this little gem I'd written July of 2017 when a friend commented on another website of mine (Patreon). I'm moving it over here to be seen in the light of day.
Ask me what it was like, to clean the birth off of her and then have the nine pound weight of her body leave my hands thirty six hours later.
Ask me, ask me what it took to suppress that ocean of loss for moments, months, and years after.
Ask me. Ask me what fills the void left by the absence of a daughter. Ask me all the things you'd try if it happened to you.
Ask me what I know now. Ask me what it means when your body recoils in the presence of a man. Ask me how I had to claw and be held, sometimes simultaneously, to unearth that knowing from my soma.
Ask me how most everyone is living in a sorry combination of fear and placation, and how I know my tribe when a person has the courage to sit with a story of loss.
Ask me how my mind, body, and emotions were not permitted to be my own and the story of my own reclamation. The story of learning to listen to the whisper of deep soul.
Ask me, because I'm ready to share. A story of body, of shame, of healing, rising, motherhood, sex, and love.