There is to be no achieving without self love!!
Last night in our men's group, we were talking about the different ways of "doing," and something revelatory (revolutionary) came out of it.
No task is worth achieving if it is done without self love.
There are all different kinds of reasons to "do" something:
sense of obligation
desire to change
desire to achieve
you think you'll feel better
desire to please
...and so on.
Men have a unique relationship, in my opinion, with task completion. As the masculine is most often "provider," task completion can be so much about obligation that a sense of self or fulfillment in the task completion can get lost.
In this way, the relationship with taking action even in a positive direction, like if you want to change your life, can carry an implied burden. The distinction between obligation and something such as authentic desire is harder and harder to find.
Men become "do-ers" and wonder why they are unfulfilled. It's because your sense of what you actually desire has been abandoned, and habitually. And it's okay for you to carry desire. In fact, it's feeling to me like it's critical in order to keep this world turning that you act out of heart's desire and not blind obligation.
So, men, it's time you gave yourself permission to "do" out of love, and specifically, self love. No task completion without self love.
If you abandon yourself, and the love for yourself, you can not expect any task completed to fill that hole. Period. You can not please another with emotional or physical labor and expect their reaction to fill that hole. You can not work enough to fill that hole.
Self love comes first, as priority. And from there, you will absolutely know what to do.
If you are a man that has perpetually sought to please others and have abandoned yourself, if you complete tasks out of obligation so much that you don't even know what you want anymore, and want to put yourself healthily at the core of your life, I have space for one-on-one support in my practice. Reach out.
Self love. Try it. It's radical and it's required.