Coaching

Leaning into Resistance

He was encouraging me to go deeper and I wasn't having it.

I told him he was wrong, I told him that I was tired of men telling me what I am feeling or not feeling, I told him I was sure that he was also doing that to me right at that moment.

And he sat, paused, looked at me kindly, and reflected that while it was ultimately my decision, he thought that there was a deeper layer we hadn't hit yet.

I looked at his face and knew he could see what I couldn't see. I had hired this man to be my "coach," and he was helping me to heal, and by this point at two months in, I knew I could trust him.

I said okay. And with his help, I went deeper into my resistance.

It sucked. It was uncomfortable. I didn't want to look at what I didn't want to see. (That's what resistance is after all.) A moment before, I had been HOT and mad at him and fighting like hell to prove that what he was saying wasn't even true! I could not even SEE it! And to step in and trust him and the process was uncomfortable AF. There were tears, to say the least. There was feeling things I hadn't felt and didn't want to admit.

And in that space, of total vulnerability, he leaned in and affirmed my greatness. He told me that he saw the true potential underneath. And I knew I could believe him. And I broke through. He's amazing like that.

(I do this coaching thing but I also live this growth work. Live it.)

Resistance is everywhere. It is in each of us, because we've put up walls and mechanisms for not wanting to feel what hurts. We're embarrassed of our patterns. What we're doing is working for us - but we also know deeper down that it's not. That's when you call someone like me - we guide you through the resistance.

My client said to me today, "Do you have people resist like I am?" Oh, I had a career in education - I know about resistance. You can hate me in the process of your own resistance if you need to. I am not going anywhere.

Your resistance is okay, just as mine was (and will be the next time). We all have resistance! What we choose to DO with the resistance, and how we choose to allow someone to help, is everything. It can mean the difference between years and years of stuck, or breaking through.

When I see my clients lean in and push through their resistance, and allow themselves to trust themselves and me, I swear, my heart could just rejoice. THIS is the stuff of change, loves. It's not always easy, but it's DAMN REAL. It gets you closer to where you long to be, in leaps and bounds.

Mindful Coaching

I coach through a lens of mindfulness. Let me explain what that means.

All the time, we have flitty little thoughts in our heads, repetitive thoughts, resistant thoughts. Most people have repressed emotions that feed these habitual thoughts.

AND, here’s the thing. These habits of mind that you have are absolutely instrumental in whether or not you are able to create the changes in your life you are looking for. If you’ve got the hamster wheel of thought, emotion, reaction - we need to witness that before moving forward.

You can pick these things apart intellectually. It’s an option. But it's ineffective in the long haul. You can figure something out and say, "That's it! I'm done with THAT now!" only to have that very thing come back again and again.

When you work with me, we are going to witness what arises, and with the breath, with a gentle mindfulness practice (and other tools I’ll introduce to you), we will actually INTEGRATE what arises.

What? If it’s difficult, why would we integrate it?

Because what you resist will chase you forever.

Read that last sentence again.

Most people are running from what is chasing them, from what has happened to them, or from the patterns that went into play after a traumatic event. It’s real.

It all needs to be felt, witnessed, moved through. 

And here's another fantastic tidbit - if something is coming up for you, then it IS the thing that is ready to be healed. 

And when we’re ready to stop living with the suffering of the hamster wheel of habit, we have options. My services are but one available to you.

Mindfulness allows you to sit with what is difficult, come out of that frightened brain, and to live a more grounded and embodied, less frenetic, wholly inspired life. This is the basis of my individual work, couples work, group work. We BREATHE so that we can regulate into our own experience and speak/live/BE from a centered place.

Doesn’t that sound appealing?

My services are mindfulness-based, but that’s not all we do. Oh no. It IS, however, where we start. From there, once you notice what arises and stop running from it, you are so much more naturally able to integrate, cope, and embody resilience in your daily life. I use other tools, body-based awareness, and a lot of encouragement and actualization exercises to stretch and grow you into the next level of your better self.

I love that so many people are currently hungry for change. I love that I get to be of service when you are ready. Honestly, there is nowhere I’d rather be.

The things you know you need to address that scare you - they don’t scare me. You can be scared, but the gold and glory of hiring a coach is that I HOLD THAT SPACE FOR YOU to have your experience, AND, I will encourage you to grow. Safely. At the next level appropriate for YOU, individually.

We start with the breath, with mindfulness, and then we RISE into our true potential.

I'm interested in hearing from you. How does this land? What are you interested in changing in your daily life? Maybe it's your mindset, maybe it's that nagging anxiety, maybe it's your relationship with your spouse.

Set up a free 30 minute call with me at the link below to discuss how mindfulness-based coaching might be right for you!

Much love, 
s

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