On Sunday she cooked chicken for the family,
and while cleaning up,
the smell of the fat in the pan filled her nose and when no one was looking,
she poured it into a glass and drank it back.
It could easily have been described as a gulp. Or a guzzle.
And then she recognized how truly hungry she had once again become.
The fat sliding in her throat and into the body not nearly enough to fill or truly nurture her feminine soul.
She steps back to look at herself, touching her fingers to her lips, her craving having just surprised her, to wonder how she found herself here again.
How she allowed herself to have been drunk from, and to be then again laid fallow, by a man.
A mother of two boys says to me, “You know, they just crawl all over your body, take from it, like it belongs to them.”
And I wonder, is she really referencing the young boys, or adult men?
She is the body of the mother, after all, and while we hope to wean them, babies turn to boys turn to grown men.
Is it not their right? They assume.
Ah, my woman, I am so sorry you have to turn to the kitchen, swallow the fat, and keep nursing the majority of them.
A wife in session alone with me turned on the imaginary waters above her head to cleanse her energy body, and gulped it instead.
“I was just so thirsty!” she said.
The water, the light of god, the body so hungry to be satisfied.
That is the potential of fallow land, after all, if not further depleted.
That is the potential IF the woman’s body is recognized by all as sacred ground.
A woman stood facing her husband in the connection exercises I provide, and in the safe distance between them, her body began quaking slightly.
She was unable to walk forward.
And he saw,
he saw how he had been taking.
And in her, every day, a fear of having to give over what was not meant for him. And finally she did not have to.
He had been taking from depleted ground.
And he stood, seeing his part in this responsibility, stood with his guilt and shame as it turned to care and concern. He saw, and he would not do it again.
The woman, the mother, each woman’s body, is the source of life.
How do we replenish a collective of women?
Thirsty, nursing, depleted, hungry queens.