IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF A STORY, YOUR PROJECTION IS AT PLAY.
If you have constructed a story around your soul mate relationship meaning one thing or another...
If you see their story as one of having overcome something, and you want to honor it....
If you have a story about how this partner is different than all your other partners....
If you feel like you have unfinished business with one another and so you stay....
If you think one of you can't live without the other...
Your projection is at play.
Projection is when we have something within us that is unresolved, such as a hope or a fear, and we place it onto/into someone else instead of resolving it inside of us.
All relationships have projection going on. The question is really how much, and are you conscious of it?
I've done all of the above. The stories I can come up with are amazing. The meaning I can make about why two souls need to be together is fantastic. And here's what I truly now think: when we're telling a story about why we need to be together, our projection is at play.
Fine. Tell your story. Just know what's up.
However, when you use the relationship not as a place to unconsciously satiate the places in you that are unpleasant, the places of unresolved hope or fear, and instead, consciously use the relationship as a mirror, or feedback tool, to heal what is unresolved within you, now we're getting somewhere.
That's a MAJOR element of evolutionary love, of next level commitments - where you commit to relationship not because you're willing to tolerate or expound on the stories to rationalize your actions and your relationship, but instead, to evolve the two of you, consciously, together.
Are you in a relationship that is consciously evolving together?
Or are you stagnating?
I have a twelve week program for couples that is based in conscious presencing, attunement to self and other, and relating in ways that brings your relating into present time. Trust me. You are "in it" every day. When you bring me in, I see where you're projecting and together, we do something really unique. And effective.
Old looping patterns stop, because we heal the energetics of the projection patterns. This is an alternative or compliment to traditional talk therapy - because this is not that! This is presence-based, action-oriented, and connection is the ultimate result. You are welcome to PM me for more info. I am scheduling now for the fall.
To evolutionary love. To your Union,