YOUR DEGREE OF IDENTIFICATION WITH YOUR TRAUMA WILL DETERMINE YOUR DEGREE OF POTENTIAL HEALING
Trauma is real and it is in the body more than it is in the mind. Read that again. Your body remembers more of your trauma than your mind does, because the mind has mechanisms to protect you from the reality of your trauma as needed.
You can sense something in your body, or have a fear or strange aversion to something, and not know why. It could drive you crazy. You have choices.
Our culture stresses talk therapy because we live in a culture that suggests we mentally understand in order to conquer through understanding. This is not healing. You do not heal by understanding, you heal by shifting. You authentically heal with a combination of somatic, cellular, energetic, mental, biological processes.
But it doesn't need to be as intense as we make it. I know because I have made it intense, and I have experienced also how it does not have to be intense. I have identified with the trauma and I have made it worse, and I have blocked my own ability to heal, and the pace of my healing, in doing so. I watch people do this ALL THE TIME. You create your reality with your mind.
Over-identification = longer healing.
There will be a choice point, or thousands of choice points along the way, in how you handle your next trigger in relation to old trauma patterning. You are likely close to one in your life right now. And even though there is the history, the story behind you, you have a choice in this moment.
And that choice, which is how to align in the mind with which part of the story you choose to align with, will determine your path forward.
Think string theory. Think free will. Choice is everything.
Make it conscious. Every effect of the existing trauma may not be conscious, because it's in the body, it's in your cells, and you carried it in from your DNA, but your CHOICE can be conscious.
Even though there is trauma, even though you are not going to bypass it and you are going to do everything you can to heal it, the degree to which you IDENTIFY WITH your trauma will be exactly proportionate to the degree to which you heal.
Keep repeating the same stories = stay in the trauma.
I have unpacked trauma from my body. It still comes in waves sometimes. This past week, I received information that pretty much confirmed conscious hypothesis I had for the last 22 years about sexual trauma based at first on body aversions, small snippets of memory, and how the trauma played out in my body. For example, there were years when I could not be far from a bathroom for fear I would pee my pants for lack of safety. As an adult, in every day life. No one really knew this. I kept it quiet, but I identified with the active trauma response daily.
During that time, not knowing exactly why I felt that way (in the mind), I started to somatically, emotionally, mentally, energetically really heal that trauma and over the last 5-8 years especially, and so when I got this new information this week, I knew had a conscious choice.
And I watched myself make it (meta-cognition = when the thinker watches itself). I could choose to identify with the trauma and go down that road (one string) or I could acknowledge the story as the story and honor the path that my body/soul have already taken down the healing road (another string) and continue there. Continue as the woman I have become. One path would be back through hell and back, and another would be to honor my feminine soul and exactly where I am. The STORY and identification with it could literally determine the course I took, and honestly, the next few months or years of my life. If I were not being conscious here, the default would be identification with the story, the fear, and the trauma.
Do you see what I'm saying? I share my story as illustration.
Trauma can feel like being engulfed in an ocean. You have NO IDEA what is under the waves that you can't see.
But you can put your feet down in the ground and sand. You can get wise as to how that ocean moves. You can feel your body even though you're inside the water, and you can realize that you and the water are the same, and that you actually are the one that determines the height and impact of the waves.
You are powerful. You are the creator of your life. You are not what happened to you. You have started on this trauma-healing path and are realizing this now.
It served to identify with trauma for a time, and you learned how to be resilient. But you are moving beyond that. If you identify with resiliency, you still identify with trauma.
Be the creator.
I work with empowered women who have experienced trauma in their past affiliated with religion or men and are breaking the patterns of trauma and victimization now. These women are rising. They are taking back their bodies, their love for self, their power as the creator of their lives. They are making loving and active decisions during times of intense awakening about how to shift the social programming of patriarchy and separation within their own bodies, their own relationships, and their own families. We are accelerating the healing of the trauma that has been a result of these patterns, and she is no longer interested in identifying with the reasons why NOT anymore.
OWN YOUR TRUTH. OWN WHAT HAPPENS FOR YOU NEXT.
I have space for two such women in my practice now. If this is you, I would love to support you now. PM me to set up a call if you feel in your BODY that the time is right, and tell me what that body clue was that let you know.