We were networking and immediately dropping in like some women do, and she revealed she’d just lost love. “As soon as I signed up for my yoga teacher training, he was gone. I have no explanation.”
Her eyes searching. I recognize a woman having to pick herself back up.
Oh, my sister, it wasn’t you.
You did nothing wrong.
You are on your path and for a moment, he matched it. Your energy.
You called to him, he was enticed to think that he was the man for you.
He may have even convinced you he was.
He wanted to be.
He wanted to see himself this way, believe it could be him walking beside you.
He wanted to see himself as worthy of that.
And this could have been.
You both saw it.
But when he declined the invitation, sister, it was between him and his own soul.
Between him and his own soul, my love.
What he’s called to do and what he will do may not match.
We see his soul, we see his intent, we believe his Yes, and we never see it coming.
The declining of the invitation.
The declining of what you didn’t even see coming as the offered initiation.
And you, my queen, in your rising, you heat a fire.
One he desires and yet does not know how to stand in when it starts to ignite.
You just thought you wanted a yoga teacher training.
What you want, my love, is your whole life.
You did nothing wrong, you beauty, you kind-eyed mystic of a woman,
Here to claim yourself,
In this moment,
And in this therapy session
And in this training
And in this meditation
And in this relationship
And in this stand you take
And in every moment down the line.
Your responsibility is to shine.
Shine without him.
Shine your forgiveness that you will find, shine it forward and woman do not guard your heart.
This is the work.
To rise anyway, to shine, to forgive, to grieve, and to come out unguarded.
It is impossible work and you will do it.
He couldn’t do it. Ache, and then recognize, that this is all the more reason for you to no longer remain small.
You will grieve his choice for what it means for you but also for him, for love, for the world, for this lifetime, for sadness, for women, for men.
And then to love again.
Woman, I see you,
Recovering while rising
Healing your trauma after you were just reminded of it
Because you have to
Because you won’t not.
Choosing forgiveness again because you’ve learned that this is your freedom
Choosing to go ahead and shine not for him,
Not ever because of him (though it’s shitty he had to remind you this way)
But for you.
Because you know it’s your time.
Women are rising.
Women are telling me over and over again that the choice they feel is often grow and lose him, or stay and stay smaller than they want to be.
It does not have to be this way.
Men, if her growth is a threat to you, reach out and I will help you. You don’t want to deny this. She is rising. She is going to thrive. Don’t deny the opportunity to do this by her side.
I help couples survive the uplevel. You love one another. Your souls are in this Union in order to ignite the fires of initiation. The answer may not be to bail. If you are in this tension and want help and guidance, PM me.
In love and for conscious union,